A look back...A look to the future

Just over two years ago, I started this blog.  I just re-read my first post and spent some time reflecting on how much my life has changed in the past 24 months.  Two years ago, I was in a pretty difficult place in my life.  I wasn't working full-time and I was single.  I'd figured that many of the goals I'd hoped for in my life were simply not in God's plan for me.  I was trying to find contentment in what I believed was God's plan for my life.  Little did I know that what was really His plan for me could be so much better than anything I'd dreamed of when I was in my college years or early 20s.

You see, about eight months after I wrote my first blog post, I met a man whose life had recently taken turn he'd never imagined and he was trying to determine God's plan for his own life.  We both took a chance in meeting one another and what a wonderful blessing it has turned out to be.  On Thanksgiving 2014, this wonderful man asked me to spend the rest of my life with him, and I happily agreed.  You never know where life will take you and what amazing things God has planned for your life.

Stephen, thank you for unexpectedly coming into my life.  I love you with all my heart, and I can't wait to see all the adventures we'll take together.

Breaking down the Lord's Prayer

Earlier this year, I joined a weekly Bible study at my church.  We are doing an in depth study of the gospel of Matthew, and I have really learned so much in the time I've been a part of this group.  We are facilitated by lay people in the parish, but some of them just have so much knowledge to share.  Last week, we covered chapter 6, which is part of the Sermon on the Mount, where Jesus taught people what we now know as the Lord's Prayer.  Before we left, we were given a handout that I wanted to share.  Catholics recite the Lord's Prayer each week at Mass.  Do any of us, though, really think about what we're saying when we say these words?  Let me share this link, which is the same info as what we received in our handout last week:

http://catholicdr.com/faithbuilders/Preview%20-%20Our%20Father.pdf

The next time you pray these words, think about what you're truly saying.  Think about the power behind these words.

Blessed be the name of The Lord

I was feeling the desire to blog tonight.  I've been sitting at my computer for a while this evening trying to figure out what to share.  I know that I've been absent from the blogging world.  Things have been good overall, which is part of why I haven't sat down to share what's going on in my thirtysomething world. I've been busy, and when things have been more challenging, I've retreated like the introvert that I am.

It wasn't until tonight that I realized how long it had been since I've shared anything.  This sums up my thoughts and feelings far better than I ever could.

In the midst of good times, bad times, and uncertain times, God is there and He loves us.  May we all remember that.

Peace,

Jessica

God Speaking

I'm a worrier.  I always have been, and to some extent, I always will be.  In the past two or three weeks, though, I've been worrying less.  God has been speaking to me, showing me signs that things are okay, that I'm where I should be in so many aspects of my life.  I'd love to elaborate specifically, and a few people know the details, but I've been hearing songs on the radio, seeing visual signs letting me know that I'm on the right path.  I'm a stubborn soul, and I guess I needed God to practically yell at me to let me know that things are okay.  On Saturday, March 1, the gospel reading at Church was Matthew 6: 24-34.  This is the pretty well known gospel about not worrying.  In it, Jesus assures us that we'll be all right, that we shouldn't worry because God takes care of the flowers and the birds, and that as His children, we're even more important.  To me, the most essential line is Matthew 6:34, which says "Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself.  Sufficient for a day is its own evil"

I can't tell you know many times I've heard this gospel reading, whether as a child or an adult.  However, last weekend, while standing in church next to the man I love, it really hit home how much I do worry and how worrying is a sin because it means that I am not trusting God and His plan for me.

Have I completely stopped worrying since last weekend?  Not at all.  I'm a planner by nature.  I like to know what's going to happen and want to be prepared for the worst case scenario.  However, worrying doesn't stop the bad things from happening.  It only stops you from enjoying the good.

For now, I pray that I will continue on this path of worrying less and trusting God more.  My eyes, ears, and heart are open to signs that I'm following God's will for my life.  Speak Lord, for I am listening.

Imperfection

As a believer in Christ, I am comfortable being flawed.  I am not supposed to be perfect, and that's a good thing.  Being perfect takes a lot of work; it's a lot of pressure to never mess up, to never let them see you sweat.  As a type-A personality, though, I feel the need to always do my best, and I often feel that my best is just not good enough.  More often than not, I feel that I can always do better, and I will beat myself up over the smallest mistakes and make myself sick with worry.

I don't see that going anyway anytime soon, but I feel inspired after learning about Brene Brown and watching her TED talks.  Dr. Brown is on faculty at University of Houston and researches vulnerability, courage, shame, and worthiness.  She also works with professionals who want to facilitate her work in their places of employment.

This is a long talk, almost 20 minutes, but I believe it's worth the time.

I recently purchased her book The Gifts of Imperfection.  I plan to share my thoughts on her research in future blog postings.  I hope her writing will benefit me, as well as many of you who may struggle with feeling unworthy.  I'm encouraged that it's based on research data, even though it's not written from a biblical standpoint.  Oh, and if the book is a bust, you may find my copy at Half-Price books. :)