Happy Thanksgiving eve, everyone. Thanksgiving has always had a special place in my heart, as it is a holiday where my fun, but slightly dysfunctional, family comes together to eat, drink, and engage in general merriment. The food is always plentiful and it's a time to enjoy one another without the stress that is generally involved with Christmas and gift-giving.
I'm not sure when the trend began, but several of my Facebook friends post something they are thankful for each day of the month of November. I enjoy reading them and seeing how others recognize their blessings. I think that the concept is great and all, but come December 1, the thanks seem to be forgotten until November comes around again. That part is kind of sad, as some of these same people will be complaining about their job, car, spouse, kids, etc once they turn the calendar to December. Life is not a bed of roses, but I think that we should all remember the blessings in our lives every day. It can be much easier to think about what we don't have (a spouse, children, a nice car or house, a job), but I think that when we focus on what we do have, we appreciate it more.
As I prepare to gather around the table with members of my family, I know that someone will inevitably say something that will cause someone else to have hurt feelings. There will be plenty of food (perhaps too much), laughs, and possibly tears. It will not be a Norman Rockwell type of Thanksgiving. However, this is my family, and I am grateful to have them in my life. We are not perfect, but we love one another. I am so blessed to have friends who are like family and family who are like friends.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Movies I shouldn't have watched
I'm not much of an NFL fan, so I decided to make this Sunday a movie afternoon. The first movie on my list was Grease. I felt like watching it because the TV show Glee was doing Grease as a school musical. As I watched the movie, I couldn't help but wonder several things. Besides the obvious, such as "How much hair product did the crew go through", I had to wonder how my parents would even let me watch this movie as a kid.
Although I am not a parent, I believe that most parents do the best job they know how when raising their kids. Most parents do not intentionally expose their children to inappropriate things or put them in harm's way. There is no instruction manual for parenting, no fail-safe way to raise your kids so that they become healthy, happy, well-adusted adults.
While watching Grease and having a solo concert in my living room singing along, I had to wonder why I was ever allowed to watch this movie as a kid. On the surface, it's a classic boy meets girl story, complete with lots of dancing and fun 1950s costumes. As an adult, I able to understand the multitude of sexual references and sub-plot of Rizzo possibly being pregnant because Kenickie's condom broke. I didn't get those as a kid. Just google the lyrics to "Greased Lightning"if you don’t believe me about the sexual references. Greased Lightning
It made me think of all the other movies that I probably should not have watched as a kid. By stating these, I mean no disrespect to my parents. Perhaps they didn't know what these movies were all about. Perhaps they figured I wouldn’t understand things. In any event, I watched these movies way too young and now I'm blogging about them.
1) Grease 2 - I only reference the "Reproduction", "Let's Do it for our Country", or "We're Going to Score Tonight" songs. Again, google the lyrics to any of these songs if you've never seen this movie.
2) Dirty Dancing. The fact that Penny had an abortion (illegal, to make it worse) completely went over my head as a kid. This was simply a movie about dancing. I watched this at a friend’s birthday party, even though my mom said I was too young to watch the movie. Yes, I was a sassy, stubborn child. Sorry, mom.
3) Footloose. I'm not sure where to begin with this movie. I guess I must have been blinded by the whole "town where you can't dance" and "rebellious preacher daughter" story. Ariel was a bit of a slut. Does anyone else remember the scene where she stood in the church and told her father that she wasn’t a virgin? How did I miss the scene where the guy slips Kevin Bacon a joint in the classroom? If you missed it too, it’s the scene before he speeds off in his car and does his “angry dance” at the warehouse?
4) Revenge of the Nerds. Need I say more? This is a total teen sex comedy.
5) Secret Admirer. I'm not sure my mother knew how young I was when I first saw this movie. I doubt my parents have even seen this movie. I saw this movie while having a sleepover at a friend’s house. She was a couple of years older than me, but we were both far too young to have seen this movie. It came out in 1985 and I was probably at the tender age of 9 when I saw this movie. On the surface, a guy finally realizes his female friend is in love with him (novel concept, huh?), but a big part of the movie is a girl wanting to go "all the way" with a guy on his birthday. I just remember thinking how dumb it was. I might appreciate this movie as an adult, as it features a young Kelly Preston (Mrs. John Travolta) and Lori Loughlin (Becky on Full House, for you 80s/90s kids), and the plot may not have been abysmal. I haven't seen it as an adult, since I was a bit traumatized in childhood, although I could never tell my cool older friend.
6) Can't Buy Me Love. I figure this movie kind of goes without saying. A young, nerdy Patrick Dempsey pays a girl to pretend she likes him so he can be considered cool. Can you say "prostitution"?
7) 16 Candles. Need I say more?
8) Look Who's Talking. I remember clearly the first time I saw this movie. My sixth grade teacher allowed students to stay after school to watch this movie with her supervision. If you've seen this movie, you can understand why this was totally wrong. To make it worse, I was in Catholic school when I watched this movie with my teacher, just footsteps away from a Catholic church.
After reviewing this, I realized that it may sound like my parents paid no attention to what was going on in my life. This couldn't be further from the truth. I have very good parents, who probably protected me from far more than I realized.
Looking back, what movies are you shocked that your parents let you watch when you were a kid? When will you let your kids see this movie?
My first post
Blogging seems to be a trend these days. I have college friends and friends of college friends who have blogs posting lots of pictures of their cute kiddos and the adventures of their family. Maybe one day, my blog will look like that. Right now, my life is much different than the one I dreamed for myself when I was in college. When I was in college, I always imagined myself as a thirtysomething mother with at least two kids, a great job, and a loving, successful husband. Currently, I am thirtysomething, unemployed, single, and not a mother.
Don't worry. This won't be one of those blogs where all I do is complain about singleness or dating, ala "Sex in the City". However, this post is going to be about that. I've got something to get off my chest today.
At the beginning of 2012, I told myself that I wasn't going to let fear rule my life anymore. I told myself that if I wanted things to change in my life, I couldn't just sit around in front of the TV, hoping and praying that God would move in mighty ways in my life. I had to do something too. I signed up for six months of Match.com, complete with a "guarantee" that I'd meet someone or I'd get six months free. After six months, I'd had a couple of email exchanges, an uncomfortable phone call, and a date from hell. Match.com asked me something to the effect of "Hi Jessica. Have you met anyone yet?" When I clicked the box saying "no", it said that I could have six months free. I really wanted my money back, but that wasn't an option. I've now got about 2 months left on my second six months. I've only talked to a couple of men via match.com's email system, but nothing has developed further.
Match.com thinks they are pretty clever by sending you these "daily matches", who are allegedly people with whom I have something in common. I looked through the pictures this morning with some sincerity. I thought with all of the people on match.com, surely I'd find a daily match that I'd like to meet for a beverage. Nope. I've seen some people I know, a couple of guys I dated before, etc. In the interest of all women on match.com, especially those who are thirtysomethings, I've posted some gentle suggestions for men on match.com.
1) Post a picture. Most people have cameras on their phones these days. If all else fails, do the "bathroom mirror pic" and post it. Physical attraction is not the only thing, but it's an important thing.
2) If you're going to the "bathroom mirror pic", clean up your bathroom first.
3) Please don't post pictures of you in the gym or flexing your muscles. It's awesome that you care about yourself and get regular exercise, but it kind of makes you look like a DB.
4) If you're going to post a pic with you and a female, make sure the age difference between the two of you makes it clear that she is your mother, aunt, grandmother, daughter, or niece. Otherwise, I'm going to compare her to me and wonder if I'm good-looking enough to date you. I don't know that the pretty girl next to you is your sister or childhood friend.
5) Avoid a lot of the bar pics. It kind of makes me think that the only thing you do with your spare time is drink. I enjoy a drink or two and like to hang out with my friends, but I have other interests. You should too.
6) We've all heard the old expression "Age is just a number". However, your number may be too high or too low. Respect that when I tell you, or respect match.com's very classy "thanks but no thanks" option to messages received.
I hope these don't make me sound bitchy. I'm quite sure I'm echoing what some of my formerly single friends have said and thought, as well as the thoughts and vocalizations of my fellow thirtysomething singles.
I wonder if anyone will actually read this. If so, maybe it will spark discussions with my friends and family that we otherwise may not have. Maybe a stranger will read this, someone whose life is like mine and feels like no one else can relate. Maybe a stranger will read this whose life is the opposite of mine and can gain a different perspective. If no one reads this, at least I will have the opportunity to get some thoughts and feelings off my chest.
Thanks.
Don't worry. This won't be one of those blogs where all I do is complain about singleness or dating, ala "Sex in the City". However, this post is going to be about that. I've got something to get off my chest today.
At the beginning of 2012, I told myself that I wasn't going to let fear rule my life anymore. I told myself that if I wanted things to change in my life, I couldn't just sit around in front of the TV, hoping and praying that God would move in mighty ways in my life. I had to do something too. I signed up for six months of Match.com, complete with a "guarantee" that I'd meet someone or I'd get six months free. After six months, I'd had a couple of email exchanges, an uncomfortable phone call, and a date from hell. Match.com asked me something to the effect of "Hi Jessica. Have you met anyone yet?" When I clicked the box saying "no", it said that I could have six months free. I really wanted my money back, but that wasn't an option. I've now got about 2 months left on my second six months. I've only talked to a couple of men via match.com's email system, but nothing has developed further.
Match.com thinks they are pretty clever by sending you these "daily matches", who are allegedly people with whom I have something in common. I looked through the pictures this morning with some sincerity. I thought with all of the people on match.com, surely I'd find a daily match that I'd like to meet for a beverage. Nope. I've seen some people I know, a couple of guys I dated before, etc. In the interest of all women on match.com, especially those who are thirtysomethings, I've posted some gentle suggestions for men on match.com.
1) Post a picture. Most people have cameras on their phones these days. If all else fails, do the "bathroom mirror pic" and post it. Physical attraction is not the only thing, but it's an important thing.
2) If you're going to the "bathroom mirror pic", clean up your bathroom first.
3) Please don't post pictures of you in the gym or flexing your muscles. It's awesome that you care about yourself and get regular exercise, but it kind of makes you look like a DB.
4) If you're going to post a pic with you and a female, make sure the age difference between the two of you makes it clear that she is your mother, aunt, grandmother, daughter, or niece. Otherwise, I'm going to compare her to me and wonder if I'm good-looking enough to date you. I don't know that the pretty girl next to you is your sister or childhood friend.
5) Avoid a lot of the bar pics. It kind of makes me think that the only thing you do with your spare time is drink. I enjoy a drink or two and like to hang out with my friends, but I have other interests. You should too.
6) We've all heard the old expression "Age is just a number". However, your number may be too high or too low. Respect that when I tell you, or respect match.com's very classy "thanks but no thanks" option to messages received.
I hope these don't make me sound bitchy. I'm quite sure I'm echoing what some of my formerly single friends have said and thought, as well as the thoughts and vocalizations of my fellow thirtysomething singles.
I wonder if anyone will actually read this. If so, maybe it will spark discussions with my friends and family that we otherwise may not have. Maybe a stranger will read this, someone whose life is like mine and feels like no one else can relate. Maybe a stranger will read this whose life is the opposite of mine and can gain a different perspective. If no one reads this, at least I will have the opportunity to get some thoughts and feelings off my chest.
Thanks.
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