Blogging seems to be a trend these days. I have college friends and friends of college friends who have blogs posting lots of pictures of their cute kiddos and the adventures of their family. Maybe one day, my blog will look like that. Right now, my life is much different than the one I dreamed for myself when I was in college. When I was in college, I always imagined myself as a thirtysomething mother with at least two kids, a great job, and a loving, successful husband. Currently, I am thirtysomething, unemployed, single, and not a mother.
Don't worry. This won't be one of those blogs where all I do is complain about singleness or dating, ala "Sex in the City". However, this post is going to be about that. I've got something to get off my chest today.
At the beginning of 2012, I told myself that I wasn't going to let fear rule my life anymore. I told myself that if I wanted things to change in my life, I couldn't just sit around in front of the TV, hoping and praying that God would move in mighty ways in my life. I had to do something too. I signed up for six months of Match.com, complete with a "guarantee" that I'd meet someone or I'd get six months free. After six months, I'd had a couple of email exchanges, an uncomfortable phone call, and a date from hell. Match.com asked me something to the effect of "Hi Jessica. Have you met anyone yet?" When I clicked the box saying "no", it said that I could have six months free. I really wanted my money back, but that wasn't an option. I've now got about 2 months left on my second six months. I've only talked to a couple of men via match.com's email system, but nothing has developed further.
Match.com thinks they are pretty clever by sending you these "daily matches", who are allegedly people with whom I have something in common. I looked through the pictures this morning with some sincerity. I thought with all of the people on match.com, surely I'd find a daily match that I'd like to meet for a beverage. Nope. I've seen some people I know, a couple of guys I dated before, etc. In the interest of all women on match.com, especially those who are thirtysomethings, I've posted some gentle suggestions for men on match.com.
1) Post a picture. Most people have cameras on their phones these days. If all else fails, do the "bathroom mirror pic" and post it. Physical attraction is not the only thing, but it's an important thing.
2) If you're going to the "bathroom mirror pic", clean up your bathroom first.
3) Please don't post pictures of you in the gym or flexing your muscles. It's awesome that you care about yourself and get regular exercise, but it kind of makes you look like a DB.
4) If you're going to post a pic with you and a female, make sure the age difference between the two of you makes it clear that she is your mother, aunt, grandmother, daughter, or niece. Otherwise, I'm going to compare her to me and wonder if I'm good-looking enough to date you. I don't know that the pretty girl next to you is your sister or childhood friend.
5) Avoid a lot of the bar pics. It kind of makes me think that the only thing you do with your spare time is drink. I enjoy a drink or two and like to hang out with my friends, but I have other interests. You should too.
6) We've all heard the old expression "Age is just a number". However, your number may be too high or too low. Respect that when I tell you, or respect match.com's very classy "thanks but no thanks" option to messages received.
I hope these don't make me sound bitchy. I'm quite sure I'm echoing what some of my formerly single friends have said and thought, as well as the thoughts and vocalizations of my fellow thirtysomething singles.
I wonder if anyone will actually read this. If so, maybe it will spark discussions with my friends and family that we otherwise may not have. Maybe a stranger will read this, someone whose life is like mine and feels like no one else can relate. Maybe a stranger will read this whose life is the opposite of mine and can gain a different perspective. If no one reads this, at least I will have the opportunity to get some thoughts and feelings off my chest.
Thanks.
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